What kind of children are now, right,
There is no justice for them,
We spend our health,
But this does not matter to them ...
Yu. Entin. Song from the m / f "Bremen Musicians"
It is not easy to be parents - no one will argue with this. Sometimes our children respond to our love and care, as it seems to us, inadequately. Their whims, stubbornness, conflictuality sometimes seem to us causeless. But after all, there is no absolutely complaisant child, and all families go through periods of calm relationships and periods of difficult, crisis. It must be remembered that such "swings" are a normal pattern of development.
With the first child's crisis, parents usually encounter quite early - when the child turns 1 year old (the age of his offensive can vary from 9 months to 1.5 years). Almost all children in the future go through crises in 3 years, 7 years and, of course, in adolescence. All these difficult periods are associated with the transition of the child to a new stage of independence, maturity: in 1 year the baby begins to walk independently, in 3 years - turns into a full interlocutor, etc. New skills and opportunities should be realized by the child, to keep within his head - it is natural that only in rare cases this process goes smoothly and painlessly.
The causes of the crisis 7 years
Today we will talk about the children's crisis for 7 years. As already mentioned, the crisis of 7 years in children, like any other, has its own reasons. In the first place, this crisis is associated with the formation of a child's social identity. Now your baby is not only a son, a grandson, etc., but also a student, a classmate. He has a public role with his rights and responsibilities. Now he will have to build relationships with peers himself, teachers. In his entourage will appear, in addition to parents, new authoritative figures (teachers). He will for the first time receive an unbiased assessment of his abilities (school marks), not tinged with parental love approval or disapproval of behavior. He will have to make many other discoveries, not to mention the receipt of new knowledge directly at the lessons. In place of the game as a core activity comes a conscious learning. All this leads to a change in consciousness and self-awareness, a reassessment of values, a change in the arrangement of priorities.
Signs of the crisis 7 years
When your child turns 7 or 8 years old, and possibly, by the age of 6, you are likely to find in his behavior clear signs of a crisis of 7 years. A non-disease crisis of 7 years has, nevertheless, certain symptoms. The main feature of the behavior of a child experiencing a crisis of 7 years is the appearance of artificiality, deliberateness, antipathy, manicuring. Your child can begin to deliberately talk distorted, for example, squeaky, voice, change gait, etc. Children's spontaneity is lost: now the external stimulus does not immediately cause a primary, natural, immediate reaction, as occurs in the preschooler. Between the event and the reaction to it, the moment of deliberation "wedges in", an intellectual component appears. The child begins to differentiate the external and internal, can begin to "guard" his inner world,
How to overcome the crisis 7 years?
What to do when your child has a crisis of 7 years? The most important advice in any situation is to keep self-control. Yes, it is difficult, when it seems that the child around the clock, as if specifically trying to drive parents out of themselves. But nevertheless the main parental task in this situation is not to "shoot down the fly", keeping the balance of softness and severity. Do not indulge the child's whims, but, putting it in place, try not to allow yourself to break down, get angry. Remember that the difficulties are temporary, and the current negativity of your child is the reverse side of the progressive changes in his personality, his development.