Every couple from time to time experiences not the best of times in their life together. In place of passion and emotion, fatigue and irritation come, jams life, misunderstanding appears. At some point, the issue of divorce is acute, but not always partners want it. One or both of them still feel the need to save the family , and how to do it, you can find out by reading the advice of a psychologist.
How to save a family - advice to husband and wife
It is possible to single out several postulates, which should be adhered to for the sake of peace in the family:
- Try to understand another . How many times in the course of a quarrel each accused the other of something and at the same time demanded his own? In pairs, where everyone is obsessed with himself, this happens all the time. It is necessary to give the partner the opportunity to speak out, and if desired, to interrupt and insert his word begin to count to himself to 10. But even when starting to comment on his words, begin the speech with the words: I understand that ... ". Then express your position. This will give the partner an opportunity to see that they understand that he is not alone and his second half is needed.
- Disadvantages and dignity . Those who are interested in how to keep the family on the brink of divorce, it is necessary to take a piece of paper and write down on one half all the shortcomings of the partner, and on the other dignity. It may well be that the second is not so little. Accusing a husband of inertia and unwillingness to earn more, you need to think, or maybe he compensates by taking care of children, help around the house, etc. And vice versa, a husband who does nothing at home can earn good money, so what can be a claim to him?
- Be more tolerant . Do not expect much from the partner and do not demand anything, because his capabilities are not unlimited, and no one promised that everything will be the way you want. Family relations are a huge work, where the ability to forgive and condescend to other people's weaknesses is valued.
- Refresh the senses . When you are going to file for divorce, you need to remember the time when you were happy. After all, all the qualities for which you fell in love with this person, so it remained, they did not disappear, just disappeared behind a wall of resentment, resentment and disappointment. Again "lifting them to the surface" you can see how the mood will improve and life will appear in a new light.
Is it worth saving a family for the sake of the child?
Those who ask whether it is worth keeping a family for the sake of a child can be warned that the kid suffers from constant scandals and abuse is much stronger than it seems. He blames himself for the fact that Mom and Dad do not get along, his psyche is being destroyed every day. If there is no desire to stay together, it is better to part.