Emotional dependence is a painful, obsessive need for another person. Often this is the reason for some repetitive actions that are aimed at getting support, comfort from the other person. If there is an emotional dependence on a person, then the relationship with him acquires an overvalue, which is accompanied by suffering and anxiety in the event of the impossibility of communicating with a certain person.
Causes of emotional dependence
Most often this phenomenon originates from early injuries, deep feelings and mental pain. This is especially true of those who in the early childhood experienced loneliness, which is possible even in a large family, or a lack of love from the parents, or lack of due respect and attention. Perhaps this is the case with those who did not receive the necessary approval, or experienced frequent criticism.
If a child experiences an acute shortage of something, he has no inner certainty and support - as a result of which this person begins to look for it in other people. As a rule, the relationship as a result of this always builds on the same wrong and traumatic scenarios.
Emotional dependency in relationships
Often in women there is such a phenomenon as emotional dependence on a man. If we are talking about co-dependence (ie, equally strong craving for each other in each of them), it is not so hard for a person, as if his dependence rests on a wall of misunderstanding. Emotional dependence can manifest itself both in total rejection of oneself, and in excessive perception of the influence of another person. Someone else, not his own person, is in the first place, which is fundamentally wrong.
Another option is to merge with another. If instead of living your life, a person turns to other people's needs and other people's thoughts, this is a direct way to a nervous breakdown. But a person uses it only to hide from any problems that he is afraid to confront alone.
Often it seems that emotional dependence is a treatment that makes you feel happier and more protected. However, in fact, this is an absolutely unjustified approach, and any dependence is always disastrous for a person.
How to get rid of emotional dependence?
In some situations, this type of self-control is no longer possible, and qualified psychological assistance is required. The reasons for this problem are much deeper than it seems, and often not the object of dependence itself becomes the cause of this dependence, namely internal emotional problems.
However, do not immediately give up. Getting rid of emotional dependence you can try and hold yourself, and if this does not work, then contact a therapist.
- Sit comfortably and close your eyes. What does your link to the object of your addiction look like? Is it a ray of light, a rope, a thread?
- Imagine how quietly you break this connection. You feel a slight alarm, but then - relief.
- Be aware of what exactly you lost as a result of this (both material and emotional benefits).
- Imagine that you receive all of the above resources from another source. What is this source? Find at least three.
- Obtain the image of a full-fledged person who has everything you need, tie to yourself - the same connection that before connected
you with the object of dependence (thread, beam, etc.).
- Accept that this image is you. You have everything you need. Enjoy it.
- Imagine how you can use your new freedoms and opportunities.
- How will the relationship with the former object of your attachment develop after this?
- Plan your future without him / her, consider several options.
After that, you must open your eyes completely to a free person. You can repeat this practice several times.