Perhaps the most terrible and simultaneously addictive feeling is jealousy of the past of her husband. Having lived for several years under one roof, having established a life and having given birth to children, everything starts to go in a rut and "get tired". In this period, a woman, especially if she is a housewife at the time of the decree, begins to miss the old romance and acuity of feelings. This is where the underwater stones begin to appear: everything is arranged, the house is a "full cup", the child and the family, and some small worm "gnaws" consciousness.
Jealousy towards the past of a man
If a woman thinks of what, it will be extremely difficult to change her mind. The worst thing is that your rival is not a neighbor on the porch, it can not be "hooked" on a call to her husband on the phone, you can not talk to her and find out the relationship, and the husband himself has nothing to show. Jealousy to her husband's past is obviously leading the relationship into a dead end. Everything can begin with an old photo or an occasional meeting on the street, but with anything, but if the seeds of jealousy fall on fertile soil, they will eat the relationship from within. The woman begins to draw to herself the non-existent relations and actions of her husband, to think that it is important for him to this day, to compare himself with past passions. How to overcome jealousy and whether it is possible to avoid it?
Psychology of jealousy of a woman
First let's see why the woman is jealous. There are several types of jealousy. If you understand what type of yours is, it will be easier to decide how to overcome jealousy to her husband. There are three distinct types:
- Jealousy is proprietary. This kind of jealousy is subject to power people, accustomed to keep everything under control. If a woman with such a character is not aware of all the details of her man's past, she will most likely start to suspect that very important information has escaped her "all-seeing eye".
- Jealousy because of feelings of restraint . Almost the opposite of the first type, in this case people are becoming jealous, insecure, very emotional, often with low self-esteem.
- Jealousy as a reflection. Here everything is simple: you are not sure of your own absolute fidelity and think that the partner can also stumble.
How to overcome the feeling of jealousy?
So, let's figure out how to overcome the feeling of jealousy, based on this list.
- To begin with, honestly admit to yourself why you are just beginning to be jealous: maybe you have problems at work or you are too "stayed at home", maybe remembered that the 30th anniversary is just around the corner - all these are signals of your own dissatisfaction. Remember the main truth: if you do not love yourself, why should others love you? Jealousy to her husband's past in this case is just an attempt to justify herself in her eyes (subconsciously of course) and explain why something is not glued in life. Maybe in the past he had relations with beauties and clever women, but he married you, and in family affairs "was not seen, not involved." So can you work on yourself? To overcome jealousy in this case, begin with raising self-esteem, find ways to implement. If there is a possibility, do yoga or salsa - this is a great way to please yourself and kindle a former fire of relationships. For bored housewives now such an abundance of hand-meyda (patchwork, killing, scrapbooking) that you can find the application of your imagination.
- If you do not give rest to those relationships that you do not know about, or your husband simply does not like to remember the past, you should talk about it frankly. Starting a dialogue in no case can not be with accusations or making claims. Let's be honest: for sure you also have moments of the past, not that the husband, in general, no one should know, and not always have something to be proud of, so why is your faithful not entitled to his "skeletons in the closet"? How to overcome the feeling of jealousy in this case: direct thoughts in a positive direction. Without mistakes or victories of the past, without relationships with other women and experience, your spouse was not the person you married.
By the way, and you probably did not live until you married in a monastery. - If life is successful, there are no problems with self-esteem and it seems like there is no need to control every step of the husband, but doubts are gnawing at oneself, it's worth listening to yourself. Often the thought of a possible flirtation or own hike "left" the brain simply sifts, while the betrayal of a loved one we long and consciously draw in the head. What to do: pay attention to your intimate life, often dissatisfaction leads to the desire to flirt with other men (raising their self-esteem), and later in my head there are thoughts that the husband can somewhere on the side of "shoot his eyes."