In communication with a man, every girl expects from him behavior appropriate to his age. The more difficult it is, if on her way comes "mama's son", who is strongly dependent on the main woman in her life and does not want to do anything about it.
"Mama's son" - who is this?
The close connection between the mother and the child is conditioned by nature itself: when it comes to the light, the baby receives food, warmth and care from her. The older it becomes, the more it falls under the influence of gender stereotypes , which require the boy to be intelligent, courageous, independent of his mother. Not every parent has the power to draw the line between trust and total affection in time. It turns out that "mama's son" is an adult with the following set of characteristics:
- Psychological attachment to the mother . Other women fade against its background, without regard for sexual attractiveness and intelligence.
- The delayed manifestation of this character trait . Identify its presence can be provided on the condition of regular communication and achievement of a certain level of mutual trust.
- Distrust of the institution of marriage . "Mama's sonny" seriously doubts that it's worth changing the habitual life with a loving mother on the way out of the comfort zone with another girl, however pleasant she was to him.
"Mama's son" - psychology
The people's term has a psychological nature, which has been thoroughly studied by doctors. No matter what age is "mama's son", whose psychological portrait looks like a symbiosis of phobia to lose a loved one and the Oedipus complex . The latter was discovered by Sigmund Freud, who believed that:
- Everyone suffering from this disease is like the king Oedipus, who killed his own father and married his mother Jocasta.
- The boy, as his affection grows, begins to feel jealous of his father.
- When attachment is poured into sexual attraction, a teenager begins to fear that his father will use physical violence against him.
"Mama's son" - reasons
Determining the suffering from this psychological problem at an early stage of acquaintance is unrealistic. If a man has at least some minimal experience of communication with women, at heart he guessed his shortcoming. "Mama's son" and his mother are well aware that not every girl will decide on a relationship with such a partner. The reasons for the dependence of the boy on his mother are as follows:
- lack of communication with peers or their mockery of appearance;
- the imperious nature of a parent who does not have a different opinion in the house;
- the expressed approval by the mother of any actions of the child, even at the root of the wrong;
- creating a mother of the illusion of a constant need for her son in all aspects of life.
"Mama's son" - signs
Young girls communicate with dependent boyfriends brings moral suffering and new complexes. The older a woman becomes, the more experienced she is and the easier it is for her to figure out what people call "the typical mama's son". In contact with the opposite sex, he is given out:
- Failure to independently solve serious problems, and even the desire to escape from them.
- Serfdom and discomfort in everything related to the discussion of family issues.
- A huge need for the mother, thanks to which the guy from any topic goes to discuss the merits of the woman who gave birth to him.
"Mama's son" - the pros and cons
In a man with a similar psychological situation in the family, most girls can only find cons. The soft character and loyalty towards the decisions of the parent are cast into the eyes. "Mama's son" in the relationship looks like a single flaw, but he can also find virtues:
- Romantic character . The men, who have become part of the female nature, can not be insensitive to a subtle spiritual organization. They are more likely to pick up the best perfume or flowers.
- Complacency . This is the easiest way to understand who a "mama's son" is, how to recognize him in a man. He easily refuses the point of view, in which he was convinced a few minutes ago.
- Comprehensive care . He will readily come to the rescue, if necessary.
The second half of the "mother's son" should be ready to experience the negative consequences of the life of a man with a domineering mother. These include:
- lack of initiative;
- the requirement of increased attention to oneself;
- perception of the opinion of the mother at the level of truth in the last resort;
- shifting responsibility on the shoulders of the companion of life;
- fear of making decisions.
"Mama's son" - how to deal with this?
Psychologists believe that such boys do not appear in full-fledged families, where there is room for psychological comfort. Among the powerful mothers, women predominate, disillusioned in the opposite field. If there is a father in this family, then he plays a nominal role in decision-making. "Mama's son" is a diagnosis of a person who has felt himself to be the center of the universe since childhood and realizes that no one will ever guess his desires in the same way that his mother does. Among the basic principles of a girl who is on the way to struggle with such a strong woman , should include:
- equanimity when communicating with his family;
- judiciousness in taking each step in rapprochement with the boyfriend;
- boundless patience for the period of the man's withdrawal from his mother.
Male - "Mama's Son" - advice of a psychologist
Women's glossy magazines in one voice convince the readers of the hopelessness of communicating with such a guy. They are absolutely sure that "mama's son" is forever. Psychologists are not so categorical: they think that you can stock up on time and cut a tight knot of communication between the parent and the offspring. To defeat an influential competitor, you need:
- Renounce open war . A husband can not directly show dislike for his mother. Mockery and insults in his address, he will not tolerate and will run away.
- Clearly define the boundaries of personal life . In the absence of direct conflict, it is difficult to delicately establish a line for which the mother should not step over.
- Take into account the experience of other people's mistakes . "Mama's son" after the divorce has already made a choice in her favor, that's why she treats women with resentment and suspicion.