Empathy and compassion are close concepts, but still somewhat different. Empathy is the ability to deeply understand another person in his emotions and feelings, and compassion is the ability to feel someone else's pain as his own. It is from the family that a person endures the norms of empathy, which he subsequently applies to strangers. What is empathy? Ability even to see a loved one in a strange person and share his feelings.
The problem of sympathy
Before you show empathy, it is important to begin not only listen, but also hear a person. For this, personal meeting is best, but not a telephone conversation or correspondence. Only in this way is it possible for a deeper expression of empathy, sympathy - after all, sometimes it's important to just be close, embrace a person or listen.
In order to fully express pity and sympathy, it is important to be able to listen - and this is not given to everyone. First, try to practice these important elements:
- Listen without distraction, looking into the eyes of a person or him.
- Strive to understand what your interlocutor feels.
- Listen silently, without comments, stops and attempts to interrupt the interlocutor.
- Follow the gestures of a person - is he closing or is he trying to open up?
- Some people manage to better understand the other, if they represent themselves in its place.
- Do not say any advice until they are asked.
- Do not talk about your business - a person has a problem, and it's important to let him speak.
Only after attentively listening to the person, you can understand what words of sympathy are necessary to him at the moment.
How to express empathy?
Note, then, in the absence of sympathy, it is practically impossible to adequately express it. If you do not want to understand what a person feels and are busy mostly with a mental solution to their own problems, despite all your efforts to create the right kind, you risk hearing "no sympathy!".
If you are really very focused on yourself, put yourself in the place of the interlocutor, imagine that it is up to you to survive his situation. Think about what you would like to hear at this moment, what kind of help you would expect from others. It is the sincere wish of happiness that the friend will allow you to find the right words in such a difficult situation.
In order to help a person speak out and express their intention to show sympathy, use simple phrases:
- What has happened with you?
- can you tell me?
- I can help you?
- Do you feel well?
These simple words will prompt the interlocutor that you are ready to listen and are really interested in his problems.
How to show sympathy in case of grief?
There are situations in which almost all people are lost and do not know how to behave. For example, if one of your loved ones has a friend or relative dead, it's always not clear how to behave - either leave a person or be near; or speak, or listen; all this leads to the fact that many people, despite the internal
- Do not be silent. Call or come to this person and support him with words.
- Do not try to find pros ("he suffered for a long time from the disease"), better say that it was a beautiful person.
- Strive to talk with a person about what he himself starts a conversation.
Not everyone is able to show their feelings, but the people who have learned this become the best, dearest friends.