Fear of sex and how to overcome it?

It is difficult to find a person who does not have any phobias. A common problem is the fear of sex. In most cases, it occurs before the first intimate affinity, but there are people who have lived with such a phobia for many years.

Fear of having sex

Sexual fears, according to psychologists, are considered a form of mental deviation and can not be ignored. Phobia fear of sex in scientific language sounds like koitofobia or sexophobia, and describes the psychological or physical fear of intercourse. If you do nothing, the situation can worsen, which will cause the emergence of different complexes. There are a number of reasons that lead to the formation of phobias:

  1. Child psychological trauma . According to statistics, many girls and boys faced in childhood with different forms of violence.
  2. Strict education . There are cases when parents tell their children about sex as something bad, thus nurturing an aversion to intimacy.
  3. Unsuccessful previous experience . A large number of people often concentrate on negative memories, which causes the formation of complexes and phobias.
  4. Self-doubt . According to the polls conducted, many girls had a fear of sex because of complexes that affect the appearance, for example, excess weight, stretch marks, cellulite and so on.
  5. Fear of getting pregnant or catching STDs . The reason is common among both sexes.

Fear of first sex

According to surveys, a large number of women, and even men, experienced a loss of effectiveness. The most common causes among girls are associated with possible physical pain, the risk of getting pregnant and experiences being abandoned the next day. Fear of first sex can be overcome through a trusting relationship with a loved one.

How to overcome the fear of first sex?

There are a number of recommendations that have been proposed by psychologists and have already helped many girls and boys:

  1. Begin the fight with phobias with deep introspection to determine the real causes of the appearance of phobia.
  2. Do not hurry with the loss of efficiency and it is better to wait for a partner with whom to establish a trusting relationship. Preliminarily discuss contraceptive issues.
  3. Fear of the first sex can be overcome by creating a relaxing environment, for example, light candles, turn on music and so on.
  4. Read books on sexology or go to trainings.

Fear of sex after childbirth

Many women noticed that after the birth of a child the prerogatives in life change a little and intimate relationships are replaced by caring for a baby or simply resting. Fear of having sex sometimes occurs on a psychological level, after suffering during the delivery. There are a number of recommendations given by psychologists that will help overcome the emerging barrier.

  1. Have a romantic evening. Buy sexy underwear, create a relaxing environment.
  2. Allocate time for rest, asking for help from grandmothers and nannies. This will help to maintain the strength to communicate with her husband.
  3. In a few months it is recommended to take tests for hormones, perhaps there are violations.
  4. To remove the fear of sex, declare a fight to the complexes. Work on yourself and keep in mind that the husband loves you not for the figure.
  5. Choose a posture and experts recommend to give preference to options when a woman controls the process.
  6. If a woman worries about a second pregnancy, it is recommended to take care of contraception.

Fear of anal sex

Many couples, trying to diversify their sex lives, go to different experiments, the list of which includes anal contact. There are many reasons that cause fear of a woman.

  1. If the appropriate training was not carried out and the wrong technique was used, then serious negative consequences can arise: inflammation, damage to the walls of the rectum, stool incontinence, infection with infections and so on.
  2. The fear of anal sex arises from the experience of pain, which often appears with such contact.
  3. The negative attitude to such sexual contacts arises from the lack of information and prejudices.
  4. Previous negative experiences or frightening stories of girlfriends, cause the formation of a phobia.

How to stop being afraid of anal sex?

To cope with this type of sexophobia, it is recommended to get acquainted with the information and feedback of people who practice such relationships. This will help get rid of unreasonable fears. There are other tips, how to stop being afraid of sex:

  1. Agree to such experiments is recommended only with a partner with whom a trust relationship is established.
  2. Preliminary preparation is of great importance, that is, action should be approached in several stages.
  3. Use additional lubricants and other means to minimize discomfort.

Fear of sex in men

Studies have shown that representatives of the stronger sex, like women, are experiencing an intimate affinity with new partners. There are a number of reasons that cause sexophobia.

  1. Many are afraid not to "fall face down in the mud," because sexual failures for the stronger sex are the most painful.
  2. The desire to be the best, causes the experience to be worse than the previous partner.
  3. There are men who have a fear of sex due to the small size of their dignity.
  4. There are men who are afraid of intimacy with smart, beautiful or innocent ladies.
  5. Representatives of the stronger sex are experiencing, because of the shortcomings of their figure, no less than women.
  6. Many are afraid of infection with STDs.

How to overcome the fear of sex?

According to the opinion of psychologists, phobias can be overcome, most importantly, to observe the existing rules, and if progress is not observed, then it is recommended to contact a professional psychologist who will determine the cause of the problem and the method of combating it. Without the help of a specialist, you can not cope with childhood traumas. In other cases, to overcome the fear of sex should take advantage of simple tips.

  1. It is prudent to choose a sexual partner, since trust is of great importance.
  2. Do not be afraid to tell your lover about existing experiences.
  3. Talk with your partner about contraceptive methods .
  4. To cope with self-doubt, declare the struggle to the complexes.
  5. It is recommended that you come up with a lover's code word, which you can use if you are overwhelmed by emotions.