The mouth of the baby is true. But, unfortunately not in every family this truth is understood. And the whole point is how the baby is being talked by his parents and how they behave. Communication with the child is a subtle science that requires a huge amount of patience and strength. After all, from the manner of interaction that develops in the family, the future of the baby depends. The earlier the parents understand the full responsibility for their words, the faster and better their offspring will develop. And we will help in this difficult matter with simple and accessible advice.
Communication of parents and children
Why does not the child want to communicate? Many mothers and fathers are asking this question. But some of them do not even realize that they make mistakes every day that lead not only to problems in communicating with children, but also distort the real world in the eyes of the child. In order to understand what is at stake, we will give a few examples of how children perceive the words spoken by parents:
1. Parents say: "So that you die! I wish you were empty! And why everyone has normal children, but I have such a jerk! "
The child perceives this as: "Do not live! Disappear! Die. "
It should be replaced: "I'm happy that you have me. You are my treasure. You are my happiness".
2. Parents say: "You're still small," "For me, you'll always be a child."
How does the child perceive it: "Stay a child. Do not become an adult. "
It should be replaced: "I'm glad that every year you grow, grow stronger and grow older."
3. Parents say: "You are a crook, let's go faster", "Immediately shut up".
How does the child perceive: "I'm not interested in what you think. My interests are more important. "
It should be replaced: "Let's try to make it to the appointed time", "Let's talk at home, in a relaxed atmosphere."
4. Parents say: "You never ... (follows what the child can not), " How many times can I tell you! When you finally ... " .
How does the child perceive: "You are a loser", "You are not capable of anything."
It should be replaced: "Everyone has the right to make a mistake. Use this experience to learn something. "
5. Parents say: "Do not go there, you will break up (options: fall, break something, burn yourself, etc.)."
How does the child perceive it: "The world is a threat to you. Do nothing, otherwise it will be bad. "
It should be replaced: "I know that you can. Do not be afraid and act! ".
A similar style of communication with the child is found in almost every family. The main mistake is that parents do not even realize that the meaning embedded in their words can be perceived by the child differently. That is why, before the baby begins to learn and understand the speech, it is worthwhile to learn by heart how to communicate with the child.
How to communicate with children correctly?
Any baby since birth is already an individual personality, with its own character and characteristics. The psychology of communicating with children is a subtle science where one must understand that communication with a child largely depends on the atmosphere in the family, the relationships of the surrounding people and even the sex of the baby. If you have a girl, prepare for the fact that she will be in contact with the outside world from a young age and talk constantly. Boys, on the contrary, are more conservative and prone to logical thinking. Therefore, they begin to talk much later than girls, and they are more avaricious for emotions. But there are general rules for communicating with a child of any gender. They concern not only verbal or non-verbal speech, but also behavior. To make a child grow up a harmonious person, every self-respecting parent is obliged to learn them.
- If the child is engaged in his own business and does not ask for help - do not interfere! Let him understand that everything is doing right.
- If the baby is difficult, and he reports this - he should be helped.
- Gradually remove from yourself and shift to the child responsibility for his actions.
- Do not try to protect the child from troubles and negative consequences of his actions. So he will soon gain experience, and be aware of his actions.
- If the child's behavior makes you worry, tell him about it.
- If you decide to share with your child your feelings, then talk only about yourself and your personal experiences, and not about the behavior of the child.
- Do not put your expectations above the capabilities of the child. Soberly assess his strength.
The implementation of such rules will not be difficult. Any parent, however much he is justified by the fact that he desires only good for the child, must act, first of all, in the interests of the child. Remember that a problem not solved in childhood can become a catastrophe at an older age.