It turns out useful and motivating articles, like "5 steps to perfect relationships" or "10 rules of a happy life in marriage" - this is not at all an invention of Internet psychologists or freelancers on maternity leave!
You will not believe it, but 130 years ago Anton Chekhov himself made a "Guide for those wishing to marry" and warned that his advice was not at all:
"The fruit of a single mind, but it constitutes the quintessence of all existing oracles, physiognomies, cabalistics and long conversations with experienced husbands and competent keepers of fashion workshops!"
And even more - the respected author considered the subject of his article to be a man's secret, a topic that is already painfully secret and requiring serious mental strain, to which we (ladies) are not capable:
"... then I ask the fathers, husbands, district guards and so on. watch that the ladies and girls of this article do not read! "
Pleases one thing - in the family life of the classic, yet, he saw more advantages and good sides, and he found many convincing arguments:
"If it were not for her (family life), her daughters would live all their lives on the neck of their fathers and many musicians would sit without bread, since then there would be no weddings. Medicine teaches that bachelors usually die crazy, married ones die before they can lose their mind. A maid ties a tie to a bachelor, and a married wife. Marriage is also good for its accessibility. You can marry rich, poor, blind, young, old, healthy, sick, Russian, Chinese ... The only exception is insane and insane, fools, boobies and cattle can marry as much as they please ... "
Oh, girls, if you think modern men are cynical and mercantile, and rolling your eyes, remember the fiery confessions of love for your favorite heroes of the romance novel, then prepare yourself for a new portion of disappointment. For even Chekhov, in search of the love of all life, strongly recommended paying attention not to our deep inner world, but primitively and banally - to appearance!
"Paying attention to the girl, pay attention first of all to the appearance, for by appearance one recognizes the character of the person. In appearance, distinguish: the color of hair and eyes, height, gait and special signs. By the color of hair, women are divided into blondes, brunettes, brown-haired, and so on. "
Well, blondes, are ready to characterize from the author of "Uncle Vanya" and "Cherry Orchard"?
"Blondes are usually well-behaved, modest, sentimental, like father and mother, crying over novels and feeling sorry for animals. They are straightforward in nature, they are strictly conservative in their convictions, with a letter not in harmony. To others' love they are sensitive, in their own love they are cold, like fish. At the most pathetic moment, the blonde can yawn and say: "Do not forget to send tomorrow for a calico!" Once married, they soon become sour, fat and fade. Fertile, childish and tearful. Husbands do not forgive infidelity, they change it willingly. Wives-blondes are usually mystical, suspicious and consider themselves martyred. "
Do not laugh, brunettes, you also got it!
"Brunettes are not as reasonable as blondes. They are mobile, fickle, capricious, hot-tempered, often quarrel with mothers and beat the cheeks of maids. Begin to "not pay attention" to nasty men since the age of 12, study badly, hate class ladies, love novels, and skip descriptions of nature and read love explanations five times. They are ardent, passionate and love with excitement, rushing headlong, panting ... A brunette wife is a whole inquisition. On the one hand, such a passion that the devil is sickening, on the other - whims, outfits, reckless logic, screeching, squeaking ... With betrayal of husbands make up soon, paying them the same coin. "
Apparently, the brown-haired women were not in the taste of the writer, for he gave them only a few words and even without emotion!
"Brown-haired women have not gone away from blondes and have not come to brunettes. They make up a middle ground between the two. They consider themselves to be brunettes ... "
But the redhead was unlucky most of all!
"Red deceit, false, evil, treacherous ... They do not understand love without insidiousness. They are usually very well stacked and have a magnificent pink skin on the whole body. They say that the devils and the leshies must marry the red ones. Where lies, there is cowardice and cowardice. It's enough to shout right at the redhead ("I'll give you!"), So she curled up and started to kiss. Do not forget that Messalina and Nana were red ... "
And if you have not drowned out of indignation, then your nervous system will withstand this paragraph too. But this applies only to those who do not comb the hair for parting, do not wear a bang or a hairpiece!
"The haircut when choosing a wife is also not of small importance. Hair smoothly combed, sleek, with white parting means rudeness, limited desires ... Such a hairstyle is most often in seamstresses, shopkeepers and merchants' daughters. A trimmed strand of hair, flattened on the forehead, means vain pettiness, limited intelligence and lasciviousness. This strand usually tries to hide a narrow forehead ... Chignon and in general ornaments from other people's hair speak for a lack of taste, a lack of imagination and the fact that the mother interfered with her hair. Hair, combed backwards, suggest a woman's desire to please not only in front, but also from behind. Such a hairstyle, if it does not come from a heavy Babylonian tower, means taste and ease of character. Curly hair speaks for playfulness and artistry of nature. Hairstyles careless, vskolchennaya involves doubt or mental laziness. Under the cropped hair the image of thoughts disappears. If a woman is gray or bald and at the same time wants to get married, then, therefore, she has a lot of money. The less in the hairpin, the more inventive the woman is and the more faithful that she does not have other people's hair. "
Eye color, according to Anton Palych, was one of the most important points in choosing a companion of life:
"Blue eyes with povolokoy mean loyalty, submission and meekness. Blue protrudes are most common among female cheaters and corrupt women. Black eyes mean passion, quick temper and cunning. Note that smart women rarely have black eyes. Gray are at the dandies, laughter and fool. Hazy suggest love of gossip and envy of other people's clothes. "
But the current models with the parameters of 90-60-90 elected the last century, considered unworthy of themselves!
"Growth choose the average. High women are rude and painfully beaten, the small ones in most cases happen to have their noses and like to scream, scratch and let the hairpins. Humpbacks avoid: these evils and vipers ... "
Girls, and after all having gone through so many stages of "casting" men could simply not please our gait!
"Gait hurriedly, with cautions, speaks of windiness and frivolity. The walk is lazy for women whose heart is already taken, - here you do not have lunch. Gait walk, with perevaletsom and viljanem bustle, is a sign of good nature, malleability and sometimes stupidity. The gait is proud, the swan happens to these ladies and little women. The more arrogant the gait, the older the rich man is, the richer. Such a gait in girls means conceit and limitation. If the lady does not go, but swims like a pava, then turn the shaft: she will feed, comfort, but she will certainly take under her shoe ... "
But on these "special signs" Chekhov advised to focus as if men were looking for a particularly dangerous criminal, not a lady of the heart ...
"Dimples on the cheeks mean coquetry, secret sins and good nature. Dimples on the cheeks and narrowed eyes promise a lot, but not for platonist. Antennae talk about infertility. Long nails can be found on the belarus. Fused eyebrows mean that this individual will be a strict mother and a rabid mother-in-law. Freckles are most often seen in red-haired women, slaves and fools. Puffy and sodnenkie young ladies with their cheeks and red hands are naive, four more mistakes are made in the word, but they soon learn to cook tasty pies and sew velvet vests to their husband ... "
But, everything that you read before this, consider a romantic retreat. The prose of life begins only now ...
"Do not be able to marry without a dowry. To marry without a dowry is like a honey without a spoon, Shmul without paces, boots without soles. Love in itself, a dowry itself. Ask 200 000 immediately. Stunned by the number, start bargaining, breaking, crocheting. Dowry must take before the wedding. Do not accept bills of exchange, coupons, shares, and touch each touch, sniff and look at the light, for it is not unusual for parents to give false daughters their daughters. In addition to money, get yourself plenty of things ... "
And only after reading these lines, you will erase the ice sweat from your forehead, and then you will feel yourself young, beautiful, successful without a piano and 18 shirts of the best Dutch cloth, independent and popular, loved without table silver, and even the most happiest , from the fact that you will never hear the phrase: "Do not forget that I made you happy!"
And all because ...
"A wife, even a bad one, should bring with her:
a) more furniture and a piano;
b) one featherbed on swan feather down and three blankets: silk, woolen and paper;
c) two fur coats, one for the holidays, the other for everyday life;
d) more tea, kitchen and dining utensils;
e) 18 shirts of the best Dutch linen, with decoration; 6 coats from the same fabric with lace trim; 6 blouses from nansu; 6 pairs of pantaloons from the same cloth and as many pairs of English chiffon; 6 skirts made of madapolam with firmware and plating; a negligee from the best baptiste victoria; 4 half-pants from the baptist-victoria; 6 pairs of knickers. Sheets, pillow cases, bonnets, stockings, paper skirts, garters, tablecloths, scarves and so on. should be in sufficient quantity. All this itself, examine, count, and what is not enough, immediately demand. Children's underwear does not take, because there is a sign: there is linen - there are no children, there are children - there is no linen;
e) Instead of dresses, whose style is soon changing, demand the matter in pieces;
g) do not marry without silverware.
Marrying, be strict and fair with your wife, do not let her forget, and with every misunderstanding tell her: "Do not forget that I made you happy!"
1885 year.