Congruence - (Latin congruens, -ntis - commensurate, appropriate), in psychology: the state of integrity; receipt of truthful information; concerted actions, verbal and non-verbal. A congruent person is a sincere person, not seen in lies. For example, when we communicate, we can see a correspondence to the external state of internal reality. This concept of congruence was introduced by Carl Rogers. As an example of incongruence, it may be pretense or deception. They are confused with hypocrisy and duplicity.
Theory of congruence
A person who displays incongruence may not even realize this. It happens at the moment of anger or stress, or confusion. Man, at that moment, really thinks so. And we notice this, but do not pay much attention, understand and forgive. But it happens that a person deliberately tries to deceive, puts on a mask. Then we start to treat it differently.
Congruence in communication
With a congruent person I want to maintain communication, to have business relations. We are almost always sure of the truthfulness of his words. We are not visited by doubts about his insincerity. Remember your attitude to a small child.
In dealing with suspicious people, always pay attention to external indicators. Quite often, scammers give themselves out in a non-verbal way. Compare with what you heard, and then you will be attentive and focused. As a consequence, they are not deceived. The principle of congruence is to be honest, both to yourself and to others. Surrounding people feel insincerity. This must be understood. In any profession, congruent people are very much appreciated.
Congruence in Communication
Every day we need to develop to improve ourselves. If a sloppy congruent person will continue to quarrel in his apartment and on the street, he will never achieve success. Because in every act we manifest ourselves. As we have at home and in the family, so we have at work and with friends. Try to develop a useful habit. And so, one by one, work out the others, replacing the bad ones.
To educate yourself is necessary for communication. Be honest and neat. With such people go on a compromise, they have to themselves, they are interested.
It is not difficult to be congruent. It all starts small. If you want to achieve this from others, start with yourself:
- First, always give an account of your actions and actions, no matter how small they may seem. In situations that are known only to you, imagine that they are known to the whole world. Perhaps, then you will think more often, but on a huge scale, definitely, do not make a mistake.
- Secondly, if we managed to educate ourselves, it will also become clear to others. And they will respect you more and trust you! Everyone will be able to raise himself if he understands the importance and sets the goal. Your friends can help you. Be honest with yourself and with others. Good luck!