"Father Ralph, I'm dying, I have cancer!" - such words fell from the lips of young Maggie Cleary (the heroine of the novel "Singing in the thorns"), who decided to trust her beloved person and mentor. The girl opened a terrible secret to her friend: it's already been six months since her blood runs every month and pains in the lower abdomen.
Such situations have certainly happened - and more than once - in real life, when mothers were forgotten, and, probably, shy in time to have an important conversation with the girl about monthly. Meanwhile, a delicate topic should not be concealed until the moment when the confused child comes with soiled panties for explanations - if, of course, he decides to confess to his parents that there is "something wrong with him." It is best to prepare a daughter in advance, for up to ten years, because modern little princesses often grow up faster than their grandmothers and mothers. In addition, during the transition period it will be more difficult for you to set up your daughter for a frank conversation. About how to tell the girl about the monthly, we'll talk in our article.
Option 1. Book
Quietly put a book to a child where it is available and with pictures tells about turning a girl into a girl - the simplest way that fits those families where there is no tradition of confidential conversations between parents and children. Or do you hesitate, not knowing how to explain the girl about the menstrual period. However, even in this case, it is necessary to ask whether everything is clear to the daughter from the read. If the book does not contain a section on hygiene rules during menstruation or features related to changes in the hormonal background (the appearance of pimples, the growth of pubic hair, etc.), tell about it yourself.
Option 2. Talking tete-a-tete
Thinking about how to tell about a month old maturing daughter, many mothers do not know how to start a conversation. Well, if the child is interested, why do you buy pads in the store, or what does the girl in advertising mean, hinting at the absence of mysterious spots. However, you can choose the right time: when the daughter is not busy, does not hurry, is not distracted by telephone conversations or television. So, the hour X came:
- Gently ask your daughter if she knows what menstruation is. At this stage, you can happily notice that the child has already been enlightened by more "advanced" girlfriends, but this is no reason to interrupt the conversation: it is unlikely that contemporaries could provide answers to all the questions that originated in his head. It is important to correctly and logically explain the mechanism of the process, correct incorrect information received from other sources.
- Start with the fact that the monthly - this is not a disease, not a pathology. The girl must understand that this process is inevitable, and that it should be perceived as a joyful event, indicating that she is becoming a girl. Tell me that the monthly is a mandatory condition for her to become a mother in the future.
- Talk about the structure of the female body and the genitals. Briefly describe the monthly mechanism of ovulation (the exit of a mature egg from the follicle).
- Telling the girls everything about menstruation, you, one way or another, will touch the theme of conception. Avoid it is not worth it, because you are both now set on an important female conversation. But to the methods of preventing unwanted pregnancies, you better return later, when the monthly will begin.
- Warn the girl about premenstrual syndrome and that the monthly may be accompanied by some painful sensations. This part should be short, there is no need to confide in confidence that you yourself "die the first couple of days" (if it is so). The child should not have fear of menstruation.
- Say that although the "red days of the calendar" happen monthly, a regular cycle may not start right away.
Sometimes breaks between the first menstruation can be very significant, up to several months. - Go to the rules of hygiene. Explain that in these days it is important to carefully wash and change the gaskets in a timely manner. By the way, you can immediately reassure your daughter that advertising is not lying, and the risk that the gasket will let her down is minimal.
- Be sure to ask if the daughter did not have any questions.
Having decided to talk with the girl about the monthly as an adult, an understanding person, you are laying an important brick in the foundation of your trusting relationship. And on the eve of the adolescent period, you will agree, this is extremely important.