One of the problems of modern society is the infantilism of its citizens, which manifests itself in the inability to make independent decisions, defend their rights, overcome difficulties. The reasons for this behavior are partly hidden in the historical events of the end of the last century, when there was a break in the usual values and foundations, which, however, could not offer an alternative, but basically the whole thing in family upbringing. Infantilism of an adult person is the result of hyperopeaky or hyperprotection of parents - excessive caring for a child when the child is subject to constant monitoring with minimal manifestations of independence.
Symptoms of parental hyperope
- the child is surrounded by excessive attention;
- the desire to protect their child even in the absence of a real danger;
- the desire to "tie" the child to himself, make him dependent on his emotions and feelings, oblige him to do as comfortable as possible to his parents;
- the child is relieved of the need to participate in the resolution of problematic situations, therefore, he lacks the necessary skills and is unable to adequately assess the situation;
- development of the child's so-called learned helplessness - the reaction to the slightest obstacle, as to the irresistible.
There are two main types of hyperprotection: indulgent and dominant.
Compelling hyperprotection
The indulgent hyperprotection manifests itself in the model of child-parent relations "child - the center of the family". Most often, such a hyperope is shown by single mothers, pouring on the child all the unencumbered potential of love. Such a child is allowed from early childhood, his features are idealized, the ability to exaggerate many times.
Such a child has a high level of aspiration, a desire for leadership, which, however, he most often can not realize in a children's team. All his needs and ambitions are successfully met within a single family, and the impossibility of building a similar model of relations with others is very painful. In this way an hysteroid personality type is formed, which requires demonstration and recognition, in adolescence this can lead to suicide attempts, for the most part also ostentatious.
Such a model of child-parent relations is the result of a liberal, conniving style of upbringing, when everything is resolved, but at the same time a hyperope and an excess of care weighs on the child.
Dominant hyperprotection
With such a model of intra-family relations, the child is completely devoid of will. He is forbidden to take the initiative, imposing ever new prohibitions, restricting activities, independence, instilling thoughts of complete insolvency. The child is constantly under strict control and under constant psychological pressure. His skills and capabilities are deliberately understated and leveled, allegedly for security reasons. As a result, the child is really unable to perform the elementary activities characteristic of his age, believing that he is "still small" and will still do everything wrong. This type of child-parent relationship develops in families where parents have chosen for themselves an authoritarian style of upbringing. Their word is the law, they are an indisputable authority.
Consequences of hyperope
The very desire to patronize and care for your child is normal, but sometimes it acquires hypertrophied and
In addition, under hyperopic conditions, the child develops a constant, intrusive sense of anxiety, not inherent in his age. As a result, there are conflicting tendencies in character, lack of independence, infantilism, inadequate self-esteem, and inability to overcome difficulties on their own. In especially "severe cases," the child, not knowing how to get rid of hyperprotection and without making any attempts to do so, remains in the circle of the parent family, as he is not able to create his own. This translates into the ridiculous and sad hyperope of adult children, who forever remain unnecessarily dependent on their parents.