Teenage maximalism is a disease?
The definition of the concept of "maximalism" does not at all indicate that juvenile maximalism is a disease. This is a characteristic that becomes inherent in the character of a teenager in a certain period of his personal development.
Does age psychology answer the question, when exactly does this period begin?
The age at which a teenager begins to be characterized by youthful maximalism is not mentioned by any psychologist, as the transition age begins for each child individually. One at fourteen, another at sixteen, at the third at eighteen.
Manifestations of youthful maximalism as a family problem
How does youthful maximalism manifest itself? First of all, the child is taken to test the family foundations, the principles of his parents, for strength. At the same time he begins to "give advice" to everyone around him, as he thinks that everyone around is wrong. This is how moral maximalism manifests itself. He can take absolutely any form. It may be that the parents of a teenager, in his opinion, do not read much, earn little, spend little time with the family, pay no attention to him, or, on the contrary, pamper him too much.
In the eyes of the child, the problems that exist in the family are beginning to take on alarming proportions. It is at this age that a teenager can take them too "at his own expense" and believe that it is he who is to blame for everything. This condition is dangerous because not finding the strength to resolve the situation in the family, the child is a maximalist, can enter into a state of depression, and even a suicidal condition. That is why it is so important in this period of development not to leave the child alone with his problems, believing that this state will pass by itself.
Youthful maximalism and teenage collective
During this period the child can become both the center of the collective and its outcast. Depending on whether the adolescent is an extrovert or introvert, he will either turn those emotions that fill him up into new ideas (get involved in new sports every week, invent entertainment for his friends, thus becoming an indispensable generator of ideas in the company of peers) or isolate oneself (giving vent to emotions in individual creativity, lyrical experiences). There is no "better" way. Parents whose dirty-headed child comes home only after midnight in a "messed up" kind would like to have him write poetry better, and the parents of an honors pupil, whose face had not had a smile for six months, would prefer a more sociable son ... However, every teenager experiences this period in his own way and the task of parents in this case is not to specify, not to alter, but, watching, gradually push the child to the middle way.
How to help a child survive the period of youthful maximalism?
But how to push the child, how to direct it so as not to become at the same maximalist and moralizer, like himself. First of all, act imperceptibly and "from the opposite". Let the child feel that he is absolutely free, but he will bear responsibility for his actions. It will be better if you teach it to him, not the street.
- If your child "gets out of hand" and absolutely does not want to take part in the life of the family, let him feel that he can also remain without your support. Will he like it?
- If the child is convinced that his peers do not deserve to be communicated with them, do not push him to communicate, but on the contrary
forbid him to him. "If you say that your classmates are really engaged in such things as you tell, I forbid you to meet with them outside of school hours." (The internal protest of the child in this situation will simply force the teenager to return to the company and find a common language with peers.) - If, on the contrary, a teenager does not get his peers out of the company, tell him that you are going to the whole family to the place where he will certainly want to go. For example, in a movie. However, just say that you do not intend to take it with you. And let the child at least once feel that he did not refuse to communicate with you, and you - from communicating with him. Perhaps next time he will listen more to your words that you would like him to spend more time with his family.