Adolescence is a turning point in a person's life. During this period, the formation of the personality takes place, the relation to oneself and to the world looms, the basic life principles and stereotypes are formed. Underestimated self-esteem in adolescents can lead to dissatisfaction with oneself, lack of respect for oneself, attempts to gain recognition and love in extreme, sometimes dangerous ways. In this article we will talk about the features of the formation of self-esteem of adolescents, how to correct it, in particular how to raise self-esteem for a teenager.
Correction of self-esteem of adolescents
If your cheerful and cheerful son suddenly shut up in himself, or a daughter who used to be active and sociable, suddenly began to avoid companies, became withdrawn and sad, perhaps it's all about the impermanence of adolescent self-esteem. Low self-esteem can also be expressed in another way: excessive aggressiveness, ostentatious gaiety, bravado, evoking style of dress and behavior, etc. In any case, low self-esteem is a barrier to the full self-realization of a person. Adolescents with low self-esteem are more easily affected by negative influences, which means they are in danger. The duty of the parents is to help the child cope with psychological problems and live a full, happy life.
But no matter how you want to help your child, do not overdo it. Excessive, excessive enthusiasm and too sugary praise will not help, but on the contrary, exacerbate the situation. Teens very thinly feel falseness, therefore it is not necessary to go too far. It is much more important to pay attention to your methods of criticism. Try to ensure that negative statements are directed not at the personality of the adolescent, but on his behavior, actions or mistakes, that is, something that can be corrected. Do not say "I'm unhappy with you", say better: "I'm not happy with your action." You can not determine a person's personality and refer it to "bad" or "good", depending on his actions and behavior.
Increasing self-esteem in adolescents is impossible without respect. If possible, consult the child, be interested in his opinion and always take it into account. Do not neglect the advice of a teenager, listen to them. It is especially important to do this in matters that concern the child himself. Believe me, your inattention to his advice and wishes deeply injures and offends your child. It is very important to observe the "limits of privacy". Leave the teenager "personal territory", and not only in a purely physical sense, but also in the spiritual. You can not strictly regulate the life of your children - friends, hobbies, hikes and entertainments, your own style and passions in music, photography, painting, etc. the child has the right (and should) choose himself.
So, we have identified three basic conditions for the formation of an adequate self-assessment:
- Constructive criticism and well-deserved praise.
- Respect and attention.
- Personal area.
Practical tips for parents
- love the child not for behavior, evaluation or achievement in creativity or sport, but for what it is;
- Give the teenager to understand that you believe in him and are ready to understand and support him in any situation;
- be interested in your children. Of course, you need to do this from the very birth of the baby, and not when he reached puberty. A sharp change in the behavior of parents - from complete indifference to increased attention will cause a teenager more irritation than joy;
- Define the terms of reference and rights of the child and clearly observe them;
- find common interests and try to spend more time with a teenager, but do not force it, but do it so that it's fun for you and the child;
- trust is the most important thing in relationships within the family. The child should know that with any problems and anxieties he can come to you. A teenager should not be afraid of your reaction and reproaches. Only then will you be the first to know about his problems and be able to help on time.
If you see that the problem has gone too far, and you think that you will not be able to cope on your own, talk to the child and contact a psychologist - together you will be able to solve any difficulties.