Starting to read the book, it seemed to me at first quite boring. The first chapter tells that people who believe that "it's easy not to get the fish out of the pond" - achieve great success and live happier. The second chapter begins the story of the same ...
As a result, the book surpassed all my expectations - the further I read, the more I began to understand how fundamental the attitude of growth and self-development, and also how much it affects the lives of absolutely all people. The text in this book should be read - from the entry itself and to its end, despite the fact that it is all about one thing. I once believed that in all the ills of life I adhered to this kind of setup, but the book touches on many such areas of life when I could not think that I thought quite differently.
Consider the main points of the book:
- People look at the things that are happening to them through the prism of the two attitudes-the establishment of growth and the establishment of a given.
- Installation for granted provides a view of the world from the position of "smart-stupid", "athlete-zahdyklik", "winner-loser."
Setting for growth means that when you apply the right effort, you can achieve anything and become anyone. There are no winners and losers - there are those who study and those who do not study. - Tests provide an opportunity for growth. Fear of losing, failing, or making a mistake makes it impossible to become better. Often people choose simple tasks to "not be fooled", because simple tasks are difficult to lose.
- Owners of the installation for granted in case of failure tend to blame the circumstances, so as not to be considered a "loser." They are looking for those who have things worse and self-assertion due to the failures of others. The successes of those around them are a threat to their own ego.
- You can not praise people for their abilities, as well as for the speed and error-free performance of tasks. These installations create a negative impact on development. A person who believes that everything should be given to him easily and unmistakably will avoid complicated tasks, otherwise he will no longer be considered a talent.
- Any relationship requires work and development. The most important mistake in the relationship, consider that "if the relationship needs to work - it's not my man."
- Children perceive labels and phrases with settings from their earliest childhood. You need to be able to ask the right questions, say praise and criticism - otherwise the child will be in the prison of the installation for a given.
If you generalize the attitude to life situations from the point of view of life situations, you can get the following table:
| Setting for the Given | Installation for growth |
| It leads to the desire to seem smart, because they are inclined: | It leads to the desire to learn, because they are inclined: |
| Testing | |
| Avoid testing | Welcome Test |
| Obstacles | |
| Use them as excuses or easily surrender to them | Demonstrate perseverance in spite of failures |
| Efforts | |
| To consider efforts useless: more efforts - fewer abilities | To perceive efforts as a way to achieve mastery |
| Criticism | |
| Ignore useful but negative reviews | Learn from criticism |
| The success of others | |
| Perceive as a threat to yourself | Learning and inspiration from the success of others |
I recommend the book to everyone. It would seem banal things are presented in such examples and in situations that really can teach a lot. For teachers, parents and coaches, in my opinion, this book should become a desktop.
Eugene