First of all, this book attracted me, because it was recommended by one of my favorite authors in psychology - Robert Chaldini. Although the book may seem like a business tool at first, this is far from the truth. It tells about the fundamental issues of human behavior - to live for oneself, to be selfish or on the contrary, to live for others and to be altruistic?
The book presents three main types of people's behavior:
- Takers - for whom personal gain comes first, and they like to receive more than give. Such majority.
- Exchange, who believe that the exchange should be equivalent - "I to you - you to me."
- Givers - who are willing to help others to the detriment of their own interests.
What do you think, who occupies the lowest stages of the career ladder in most professions? Surely you will say that the givers, and you will be right. And who occupies the highest steps of the career ladder? Most people will respond by "taking" or "exchanging", but then they will be wrong. The highest grades are also taken by the givers.
According to research, in absolutely any profession, those who produce statistically constitute an absolute majority. Even in such branches as jurisprudence, insurance, politics - those who give more than receive receive the victory.
But what is the difference between the givers who are on the lowest social ladder from those who are at the very top? The author calls this distinction - "reasonable altruism", which allows the givers to develop, and not self-destruct under the pressure of takers. The book describes many interesting moments that can turn a person's worldview and improve the world as a whole.
From the book you can find out:
- How to distinguish the taker from the "pseudo-giver", how to learn about the collapse of the company from the photograph of the CEO in the annual report.
- Why is it worth helping unselfishly, and not becoming exchanging.
- Why the team of people you work with has significantly increased the productivity of your work.
- Tools for influencing people from the perspective of the giver. Why they are more powerful than a typical belief through domination. What is "communication from a position of weakness", how can one achieve its not rigid arguments, but the right questions.
- You will become acquainted with the powerful instruments of influence of the givers, which George Washington used. Apply sincerely for advice, and you will receive in addition to useful information great loyalty from a person.
- What is the fundamental difference between giver-losers from giver-leaders.
- Why not be a giver in the case of a zero-sum game.
- How best to treat good deeds - to "cut" or "sprinkle"? Do all the good deeds at once in one day, or evenly distribute them on the days of the week?
- How much time of charity work a year is needed to become happier and live longer.
- How to behave to the giver with the takers.
- On the hidden altruism of many people.
Today, the behavior of the givers is often considered a weakness. Many give not what they hide, but also carefully try to suppress such behavior. This book opens new horizons for the psychology of interaction with other people, encouraging us to reconsider our views on altruism.
In psychology there is such a thing as social influence - a powerful and practically uncontrolled tool, according to which people are amenable to the influence of the environment and start imitating it. In view of this, I would like to recommend this book to reading absolutely everything, the more people will start living according to the principles of the givers - the more our environment will change towards altruism.