If in infancy of the child the main problem for parents was the preservation of his health, then in adolescence they face problems of upbringing and re-education. In this article, we will consider methods of combating such a common phenomenon in the behavior of adolescents as rudeness.
Rudeness is a harsh, brash and rude way of communicating with other people.
Teenage rudeness may not always be manifested, but only directed at certain objects:
- on family members;
- randomly met strangers, especially pensioners, young children and women;
- teachers or classmates.
Possible causes of adolescent rudeness
- aggression is a secondary emotion, appearing on changes in the behavior of adults, rules or living conditions, so the teenager expresses his protest against this;
- age crisis - this period is associated with the concept of "affect of inadequacy" - a violent emotional reaction of the child for any reason, the teenager's body uses this as a protective reaction against overexertion;
- search for the boundaries of the permitted - the main "neoplasm" of adolescence is "a sense of adulthood," and they use rudeness and rudeness to designate their territory, defend the right to their personal opinion;
- a personal example of parents;
- uncertainty about the correctness of their actions;
- conflicts with classmates or problems with studies - rudeness is used as an attempt to draw attention to their problems;
- the influence of a bad company - according to the principle "I'm like everyone else", so as not to become an outcast;
- connivance in education - children who are used to being rude and do not listen at preschool and school age, becoming teenagers - only exacerbate their behavior;
- lack of authority among parents - this happens for various reasons (loss of work, soft character, loss of social status, appearance, life failures, etc.).
Tips for parents: what to do?
The reasons for the manifestation of rudeness is very much, but you can change this behavior using the following tips:
- change your behavior (follow the speech and manner of communication in the family);
- remove the authoritarian style of communication, start listening and accepting the opinion of the adolescent, i.e. create partnerships;
- calmly react to attacks of rudeness of the teenager, do not be indignant, do not show your confusion, but do not ignore them;
- call only his behavior bad, without the transition to personality;
- Teach the child to spill out negative emotions and transmit experiences in any other form;
- recognize his right to be independent (create him a small autonomy);
- take measures against the fact that he swears at once, until it becomes a habit, for example: enter punishment or material compensation for mats;
- explain to him when you can use curses;
- at any age do not allow disrespect to yourself, show that you should be respected or you will not respect him;
- empathize with his problems, help him out of solving, more often show that you love him;
- Do not demand the impossible, if he realizes that he can not fulfill your demands, he will be defended with rudeness and rudeness;
- in the family there must exist certain rules of behavior for all, and not just for him, if an exception is made for someone, we must immediately discuss this;
- even after a quarrel, show your child that you love him, but still you will blame for such actions.
The most important thing in educating teenagers is to be constantly interested in his life so as not to miss important changes and to allow your connection with the child not to burst. Then he will not be rude to you or anyone else.