The words of the famous children's song "a friend in need will not give up" is a vivid example of how a person perceives friendly relations. What is friendship and whether it is in the modern world, where people communicate through social networks, and so rarely occur in real life.
Is there a friendship?
The concept of friendship was considered for many centuries by representatives of various philosophical currents, but the main researchers were writers, poets and psychologists. The phenomenon of friendship is not limited to a certain framework, but in the general view of most people, friendship is a close and trusting relationship between people, based on mutual attraction in interests, way of life and intuitive understanding of each other.
Psychology of Friendship
The problem of friendship exists, sociologists believe. In the rapid age of computer technology, people prefer to communicate in mobile ways, whereas there is often no time for a personal meeting. People lose a lot: there are no friendly pats on the shoulder, visual contact, and sincerity is practically absent. Psychologists believe that the value of friendship is in meetings, direct live contact, and the lack of full communication can cause depression . The psychology of friendship is concluded in positive aspects:
- feeling "I'm not alone!" against loneliness and isolation;
- only in the presence of a significant other, a person reveals himself as a person and learns to be a friend.
Types of friendship
Why are people friends? The first mention of the importance of friendship is found even in ancient treatises. Poets glorify the value of the shoulder, which finds itself in a difficult moment near and the desire to carry out friendly feelings throughout life. In society, it is common to share friendship in terms of age and gender. Types of friendship:
- Child - the child learns the world and tries to build relationships with others, to learn together something new interesting. Children rally through common games.
- Youthful - a high need to express yourself, your feelings. Friendship at this age has a high emotional charge. The qualities of another are overestimated and exalted - in a good sense it helps to survive difficult moments in life: parents' incomprehension, feelings of inferiority. Youthful friendship can grow into love.
- Adult - sometimes this is the friendship that was formed in childhood and strengthened over the years. Such friends know all the ins and outs of each other - such a friendship is a very rare phenomenon, therefore very valuable. There are several varieties of adult friendship: situational, friendly, business.
- Male friendship - legends are built about her, many songs are sung and great books written. What is male friendship, well shown in the Soviet film "Three Musketeers": mutual assistance, acceptance of a person completely with all his shortcomings, trust and help even in situations where a friend was in trouble through his own fault. Often in women, male friendship causes misunderstanding and envy.
- Women's friendship - men believe that in nature it does not exist. What is the friendship of women can be seen on the example of the film "Sex and the City".
For the fairer sex in friendship are important:
- empathy and empathy;
- another opinion on the situation;
- trusting relationship;
- the opportunity to get necessary support at any time of the day or night.
What is real friendship?
What does it mean to be friends - not just to get together and drink coffee together from time to time, but for real? People who do not have friends often feel acute loneliness and longing. The real friendship lies in a state of involvement and genuine interest in a loved one, when friends share both sadness and joy. Related souls - one of the theories of reincarnation explains the phenomenon of friendship by joint incarnations in past lives. Souls strive to find each other and later, when they meet, there is a strong feeling that they have known each other for a long time, when they met for the first time.
What does friendship give to a person?
Friendship in a person's life is one of the highest values that go after a family. A friend is a mirror in which you see your reflection. What values does friendship add to the relationship:
- mutual complement of positive qualities of each other;
- feeling of support;
- a pleasant pastime;
- mutual assistance and proceeds in difficult moments;
- teaches unselfishness and devotion;
- positive emotions .
What is the main thing in friendship?
On the friendship a lot is said, but how to determine which parameter is the most important in a relationship and who is such a real friend? Each person has his own opinion on the hierarchy of values of friendship: for someone it is fidelity and the opportunity to trust all secrets, which is typical for women, for men - these are joint adventures: fishing, hiking, hunting. The common criteria of friendship are eternal eternal virtues: decency, kindness, and sincere interest in each other.
How to learn to be friends?
For some people, the problem of the complexity of building relationships with people is actual and, as a result, loneliness is formed. Many people want to have close friends, but for a number of reasons they can not even maintain formal contacts. How to be friends and there are some specific rules of friendship? Social psychologists give a number of recommendations that help to establish communication with a person you like and develop relationships that grow into friendship, for this you need:
- overcome shyness and get acquainted;
- take the initiative to get acquainted into their own hands;
- to be an open person;
- develop empathy ;
- learn to listen to another;
- support in difficult situations;
- understand that the development of relations requires a long time, effort and work.
What destroys friendship?
The test of friendship happens with time. People together go through certain stages of life with various tests, not all of them survive. The reasons why even the strongest friendly bonds can collapse:
- The arisen love of friends for one person.
- One of the friends is rapidly becoming rich, the second is difficult to accept a different social status.
- Betrayal and meanness. The reasons can be different - but it happens (the best friend / girlfriend takes away the wife / husband).
Books about friendship
The value of friendship was praised by poets and writers. How to be friends with people and be a real friend - these important lessons can be learned from books of classical and modern literature:
- "Three Musketeers". A. Dumas . - A book about love, devotion to honor and principles. This work is the most filmed in the whole world.
- "Hearts of Three". D. London . - A novel about self-sacrifice for the sake of a friend and that no riches will replace love and friendship.
- "Three Comrades," Erich Maria Remarque . - A book about real, sincere feelings, which the author has so masterfully conveyed.
- "Jane Eyre. S. Bronte . " - Selflessness and friendship between the main characters, grown into love.
- "Street cat named Bob . " J. Bowen. - Friendship, between man and animal, helps overcome James's prolonged depression and addiction.