The clock is ticking in the kitchen, and the tap water is dripping, the voices and noise of the cars are heard outside the window, and the only human voice is heard only from the TV. Approximately so it is possible to draw a surrounding world of the lonely person. The feeling that everyone around you is alien to your problems, everyone is busy with their own affairs and the world is not one with whom you can share problems, for sure, at least once in a lifetime everyone was experiencing. But some people this state comes and almost immediately disappears. And for someone it lasts for years or even can be transferred through life. Why does a person feel lonely and how to get used to being alone? These questions have long been rhetorical. But if you understand, in this state there is nothing terrible. With him it is possible to live, if it does not interfere, or get rid of it, if it became unbearable.
Why do you need loneliness?
In psychology, a state where a person feels lonely is divided into two types:
- The social. It manifests itself in those moments when there is no one to call or call for a walk, friends have left for different cities, many friends have families, and the work is somewhere in the forest or on a watch.
- Existential. A person can have a lot of friends, he himself is quite capable of being the soul of the company and long-awaited person at any event. But all this seems faked. Externally cheerful, the person in the shower is experiencing total loneliness and the realization that his real one was not seen and does not even suspect what he really is. Such a state can be prolonged for a long time, since people do not want to reconcile themselves to loneliness, which means that he will repeatedly go out into people to drown out inner experiences.
Now let's look at the philosophical side of the question. Many people, for the first time thinking about how to live alone, make a real tragedy out of their condition. However, it is worth remembering that a person was originally born alone, and before you enter into adequate communication with the outside world, you need to find harmony with yourself. Philosophers of all times tirelessly repeated about loneliness as a part of being and about the usefulness of creation. However, modern man is a creature highly dependent on society. And under the yoke of loneliness, as a rule, those who are not ready, do not want, or do not notice other people around themselves. Anyone who thinks about how to get rid of feelings of loneliness, in fact, does nothing to actually stop being lonely. He is not aware of the benefits that people can bring, they are prejudiced against others and expect only negative things from their side. Most of the energy of such people is aimed at pity for one's personality and inner experiences. The result of this attitude towards oneself and the world is lethargy, apathy and numerous depressions. In fact, the person by his own behavior pushes others away from himself, and then again regrets that nobody needs. But there are many other reasons and types of person's personality. They have only one thing in common: existence outside the society is unthinkable and causes panic.
How to get rid of the fear of loneliness?
"It's funny how it drives us furiously, into the sweat of the hubbub and feast, the fear of remaining once more in the desert of our own world." This quatrain concerns almost every person. Fear of being alone, without a couple, without relatives, without support - it's almost the instinct of self-preservation of modern man. And due to will and character, everyone adapts to this feeling in different ways. Someone, following Omar Khayyam's words, prefers to be "not with anybody". And someone and a suspicious company in the alley is already in joy. Many rash acts in their lives people commit only for fear of remaining without support, support and communication. And yet, if this feeling is so unbearable, how can one stop being afraid of loneliness?
It's simple. Since to overcome loneliness, originally conceived by nature as a natural state of man, not everyone succeeds, it is worth looking at this feeling from the other side.