Marriage is a union of two hearts, which ideally is based on love, mutual understanding and mutual respect. However, life is multifaceted and often presents surprises. There are no ideal marriages, all people argue, quarrel, and sometimes we hear a sad phrase: "We do not understand each other with her husband." A man and a woman who have a union can have different dreams, interests and views on life. Quarrels and misunderstandings are a problem for many couples, especially young families, who have not yet learned to adequately overcome life's difficulties and find compromises. Often couples do not know what to do if there is no mutual understanding in the family.
Silence problem
Often, not wanting to quarrel, women ignore problems, close their eyes, thinking that they will dissolve by themselves, choosing the safest - silence. Women are beginning to think about how to live with their husbands, if there is no mutual understanding. These thoughts, grievances and misunderstandings are piling up and begin to express themselves in irritation and discontent. The husband feels the changes in the relationship and also starts to get nervous, but he does not know and does not know what offended his wife and what is the reason for the changes.
Sooner or later such quiet days end with quarrels. And not always a couple can even understand why it all started, because a whole car of mutual claims and grievances has accumulated. The main reason for this phenomenon is the lack of communication in marriage. Men often do not pay attention to women's chatter and do not always understand hints, they like straightforwardness and often do not even know about existing grievances. The wife torments herself with thoughts: "Why does my husband not understand me?". As a result of accumulated experiences and grievances, a woman often fails to formulate her claims without charges and sometimes insults. Therefore, the basis for good relationships is the ability to communicate.
What if my husband does not have a rapport?
Communication between spouses should ideally be based on mutual understanding and mutual respect, in order to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings and disputes. People find it difficult to correctly convey their emotional state, curb excessive emotions. As a result, there are emotional disputes, often escalating into quarrels. Word for word - and the quarrel can not be stopped, ordinary conversation grows into a stream of mutual accusations, and sometimes insults. After such conflicts, women do not know how to find mutual understanding with her husband.
To minimize such situations, it is necessary to learn how to control your emotions, and it is desirable to start a conversation based on the following principles:
- try to avoid conviction and sharp criticism;
- the conversation should be calm, without insults and ridicule;
- do not dominate - we agree,
- We do not offend and do not take offense, we are looking for a constructive one.
How to reach an understanding with her husband?
It is desirable to talk about one's needs without sharply criticizing one's spouse. If it is a matter of time spent with friends, then it is worthwhile to specify in advance some activities and to agree. For example, if the husband or wife is against frequent meetings with friends, you can agree that you will meet with them, for example, in a cafe or beauty salon on Saturdays. And it is even better to arrange joint family parties, so that the spouse or husband can make sure that there is nothing wrong with the friends.
Problem solving
When we talk about possible solutions to the problems that arise between the spouses, we must first of all be open to the partner. But do not quickly compromise. Many conflicts end, because one side decides to abandon its claims. This can lead to quarrels in the future, because the problem
To avoid such a situation, it is necessary to clearly define which aspects of family life are fundamental, and it will be difficult to refuse them. Of course, defining the range of these important principles, it is desirable to exercise restraint and choose the most important ones, those that are necessary for your happiness. For someone it can be: inadmissibility of betrayal , assault, regular parties with friends, alcohol, etc. Only the most important and most important thing! And in the rest, marriage is a compromise.
Of course, not all problems are easy to solve, in this process it is desirable to be persevering and patient.