Domestic violence is not uncommon these days. Such a threat can be emotional, psychological, physical. This is a repeated violent action on the part of one person in order to control, intimidate, instill a sense of fear to his victim.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is deliberate coercion, or the action of one person over another, the rapist does not take into account the will and interests of the victim. Such pressure ends with bodily injuries, emotional trauma, deviation of development, damage. The main difference between such pressure is that it is committed between close people who are related.
Family violence can take a wide variety of forms. Often boys are subjected to sexual, physical aggression. The elderly, vulnerable members of the family are exposed to pressure. There are times when wives commit violent acts against their husbands. But according to the statistics, over 70% of the victims are women, girls.
Where does domestic violence begin?
Violence in the family differs from the usual systematic recurrence of actions, cycles:
- Increasing tension . The rapist is irritated about and without. Such tension is denied by both the affected party and the culprit, justifying what is happening with stress, unpleasantness at work or ill health. Gradually, the victim tries to relieve tension, please the partner. Even if she manages to relieve stress for a while, after a while it re-grows with even greater force. This stage of pressure can take months, or in a few days develop into a stage of active violence.
- Active domestic violence . The rapist seeks a way out of the accumulated tension. Violent actions are committed without strangers and may take several minutes or several hours. Regardless of the form of pressure, it is always accompanied by insult, humiliation. It is not uncommon for a situation when a rapist blames a victim for his actions. Neither the rapist, nor the victim no longer deny the fact of violence, but they downplay the severity of the violence.
- Repentance . This period is accompanied by a temporary respite, remorse, relative calm. The abuser redeems his guilt by any means and means, inspiring the victim with a belief in a better future. The victim creates the illusion that domestic violence in the family will disappear. Although the offender continues to blame the victim and prove the fact that it was she who provoked him to such actions.
The last stage does not last long, soon everything repeats in a vicious circle. If everything is left as it is, if the victim ceases to resist what is happening, the stage of repentance may disappear. Regular violence against women gradually worsens the physical, mental health of the victim, which causes the need to leave. But often on the way there are a number of reasons that prevent change the situation and leave the abuser. It's the fear of being left without money, of losing shelter, of children. It happens that the relatives themselves convince the victim to stay with the rapist.
Psychological abuse
The psychological rapist sharply changes his mood, traces inadequate jealousy, low self-control. He is able to take offense even for insignificant criticism. In conversation often resorts to profanity, cries, threats. A psychological rapist vows to his partner in unearthly love and immediately throws accusations on his spoiled mood in his direction.
Psychological violence against a person is accompanied by a number of signs:
- constant criticism;
- insult and humiliation;
- hidden insults in the form of stinging nicknames, ridicule, contemptuous laughter;
- the desire to make the victim guilty;
- open ignoring;
- silence;
- blackmail;
- coercion to unpleasant actions.
Moral violence
Emotional pressure is an impact on the psyche, partner emotions by intimidation, threats of insults, criticism, convictions. Moral domestic violence is expressed through domination, which is manifested:
- ban on communication;
- surveillance;
- constant presence;
- restriction on contact with the outside world;
- laying the role of breadwinner;
- sexual abstinence.
Also, emotional violence can be expressed through a form of manipulation. The purpose of such pressure is to subordinate to your personal beliefs feelings, actions of the victim. It is extremely difficult to recognize the signs of such emotional pressure, since the actions of the rapist are secretive, fully conscious. But some characteristic features can help to identify and timely prevent bullying:
- bragging, when the husband extols his qualities, achievements over those of his wife;
- provocation of feelings of guilt for the slightest oversight;
- the wife's flattery, so she began to praise her husband;
- lie, withholding specific information to make the victim experience, do something for the sake of truth.
Physical violence
Physical violence in the family is manifested by beating, bodily harm, torture, which adversely affects the health of the victim. At the same time such tyranny can be manifested as minor beatings and murder. The basis of physical pressure is dominance, aggression, so it has a gender focus. Many women perceive such actions on the part of the husband as normal. If domestic physical violence manifests itself over children, in the future they become cruel to others.
Why does the husband beat his wife - psychology?
There are two types of men who can raise their hands on women:
- Those who independently wake up anger in themselves, calling and humiliating their wives, awakening in themselves even greater anger;
- Those who by nature are cool and able to beat their wife without any regret until half-dead.
Proceeding from this, psychologists identify a number of reasons why a husband beats his wife:
- provocation by a woman;
- genetic predisposition;
- alcoholism;
- self-esteem in the family;
- reliable childhood, when all the boy's desires were fulfilled with the first word "I want".
What should I do if my husband beats me?
Psychologists advise to analyze the current situation, to find out the reason why the husband beats. Not always the cruelty of a man arises from nothing. Try to talk quietly with your spouse. If the conversation has not resolved the problem, try to contact a family psychologist. If you want to keep a family, remember that love will not help you to re-educate a person, only a psychologist with the help of a psychotherapeutic correction of your husband can eradicate family violence.
Domestic violence - what to do?
Psychologists recommend breaking off relations with a person if the family notes the use of violence. But not every woman is ready to change her life, to leave her tyrant husband. Do not try to justify the actions of your husband, do not react to requests to return, do not believe in promises of a better future. Otherwise, in a few days you will regret that you have not found the strength to change your life.
Domestic violence against women, where to go?
In this situation, you should contact the police, the bodies of the social service. It is important that there are any materials confirming domestic violence - audio, video. Then visit the legal aid center, follow all the legal advice. There are a number of other bodies involved in measures to prevent bullying:
- criminal police for minors;
- child protection;
- specialized institutions for victims of violence;
- crisis centers for victims of violence;
- centers of social services for youth.