Free relations between a man and a woman or people of the same sex is becoming commonplace. Social networks, dating sites make it easier to find a partner for relationships without obligations, striving for high career growth do not leave time for a serious relationship - these are the trends of modern realities.
What does "free relationship" mean?
Free relations - psychology defines this phenomenon as a mutual desire of two people to build their relationships without any obligations to each other. This is an honest relationship in which everything is "transparent" and understandable, which excludes claims, jealousy and the desire to own a partner undividedly. In many countries, where the family way of life prevails and such traditions are preserved, free relations are blamed and cause condemnation.
Free family relationships
Free relations in marriage are not so rare for modern society. A civil marriage is not registered and rests solely on trust between partners, nothing prevents a partner from turning around at any moment and leaving, he is not bound by any obligations. It happens so, after several years of civil marriage, the couple decides to register their relationship officially, and does not pass and they are divorced for a year. Such a paradox. The feeling of freedom consolidated such an alliance, and its transfer to official status led to destruction.
Should I settle for an open relationship?
How to understand an open relationship and whether it is worth dipping into them? This is a personal choice of everyone. It is worthwhile to think, to evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of relations without obligations, and if this is at the moment what the "doctor prescribed", why not? It is important to give before ourselves the obligation not to build illusions, then from free relationships one can get pleasure and a new experience.
Free relations - the pros and cons
Free relations without obligations like any other social phenomenon have their positive and negative aspects. Pros of free relations:
- freedom is every man for himself;
- There is no closure (dependence) on each other, provided that both partners are equally self-sufficient and they are satisfied with such relations;
- No one owes nothing to nobody;
- both partners may have other relationships;
- no complaints against each other.
The minuses of relations without obligations result from the above pluses and the following nuances:
- free relationships are built on the sexual component (attraction, passion), about love here it does not go;
- condemnation of loved ones, friends, society - such relations are often blamed;
- fragility;
- sometimes the attraction of one partner develops into love, without reciprocity, and the break turns out to be painful for the loving side.
Free relations for women
Why a guy wants a free relationship and even becoming a mature man does not strive for solidity and responsibility, which is the key to a serious relationship. In part, this explains the theory of polygamy - a man strive to have several partners, this is in his nature. For a woman, relationships can be interesting and attractive in the beginning, when feelings are not yet defined, there is only a physiological attraction. Unlike men, a woman is more a monogamous creature, and it is important for her to feel protected, that free relations can not give in full.
How to transfer free relations into serious relations?
A man offers an open relationship in several cases:
- he is not ready for a serious relationship;
- recently survived a divorce ;
- belongs to the category of ladies' man;
- his work takes a considerable amount of time and there is no time for a thorough relationship;
- he is a loner and is not created for close relationships.
In all these cases it will be difficult to direct free relations in the right direction, rarely when the transition occurs naturally, it is necessary to try very hard and the efforts should not be intrusive. Tips for psychologists how to bring the relationship to a new, more serious level:
- to bring a partner to a conversation, talk about their feelings for him, while not solving for him, not manipulating;
- give him time to make a decision;
- if frank conversation did not help, it is important to find out the reasons why a man wants to leave everything as is, listen to his arguments;
- begin to change and stop focusing on the expectations of men, deal with their own trauma, low self-esteem - a self-sufficient woman is very interesting for a man, this one does not want to lose, because with it, and he grows, develops.
How to say that you do not want an open relationship?
The situation is common when girls ask a question on psychological or women's forums: "The guy offered an open relationship, I like very much, but I want more." What to do in this case? Honest to say about this at the very beginning, not building the illusion that with the help of sex you can tie a partner to yourself. In the world there is one who has the same values.
How to put an end to an open relationship?
The breakdown of free relations on the initiative of a woman is a frequent phenomenon, men arrange such relations. A woman sometimes agrees to be with a man on his terms, hoping that he will be able to "tame" that he will become dependent on her, but this does not happen, she is disappointed and there is nothing left to do but let the man go. How to break such unpromising free relations, recommendations:
- allow yourself some time to suffer;
- Avoid any contact: do not answer phone calls, messages, do not meet;
- set priorities for themselves, see the importance of building harmonious relationships in a couple where partners value each other and are ready to create a full-fledged family;
- if the relationship has become dependent and difficult to complete it is worth asking for help from a psychologist.
How to find a partner for a free relationship?
Dating for free relationships are very popular among people of any age. Find a suitable partner is not difficult. "Club of free relationships" and similar dating sites can be easily found on the Internet. Numerous sites, groups in popular social networks abound with such kind of offers to choose a partner or partner for meetings.
Movies about free relationships
In the modern world, values are changing, and if earlier marriage was an important component of harmonious relations between a man and a woman, today this is not a priority, young people strive for relationships without obligations, and partners who are married also strive for freedom. "Free relations" - a film by the German director M. Herling about friends, friends of families. Everyday life and routine impose their imprint on relationships and husbands decide to make "pepper" - to exchange wives. What will come of it, you can find out by watching this comedy.
Other films about free, no obligation relationship:
- " Friends of Benefits ". Jamie, the main character throws the guy, not the first time, and Dylan, the second main character, too, throws a girlfriend because of his workaholism. Both decide that a serious relationship is not for them. Dylan arrives in New York to get a job in a major publishing house, and at the airport gets to know Jamie, a cadre of this publishing house, a friendship arises between them, and an attraction gradually arises. Jamie agrees to sex, and free relationships without any commitment, Dylan supports her in this.
- " Novelty / Newness ". Acquaintance through the Internet , which is full of sites and applications for choosing a partner - it became easier to get acquainted and prosaic. It's very simple: met, slept with each other and without a split, separate efforts in the form of courtship are not required for this. Gaby and Martin met through the application and decided to spend the night together without counting on the continuation, but something caught them in each other.
- " More than sex / No Strings Attached ". Adam and Emma met 15 years ago, but their relationship at that time did not happen. Adam flits from one bed to another, and once accidentally sending messages with the desire to spend time to all his girlfriends sends such a message and Emma. They meet and dive into free sexual relationships based only on physiology. They do not harbor illusions and believe that they need from each other only sex. Is it so?