Modesty in psychology is a moral quality that characterizes the individual, depending on his attitude to himself and to others. He is not characterized by boastfulness and arrogance, but with others he behaves on an equal footing, even if he has something to be proud of. The basis of this quality is positive, but there are cases when modesty is bad.
When does modesty become a negative feature?
- It happens that modesty becomes ostentatious. Usually this method is used by people who are insecure. A person who pretends to be humble and shy, thus, begs for compliments and praise. Such manipulations are called false modesty.
- True natural modesty could be considered a positive trait of character, if it did not threaten to turn into a complex with time. Often, excessive shyness and constant self-doubt become a problem and prevent a person from developing. A shy person limits his opportunities in all spheres of life. It is difficult for him to make a step towards the girl she liked. In his workplace, a lot of interesting ideas are being hammered in his head, but he is embarrassed to express them. In communication with others, he is taciturn and boring. Therefore, the question "decorates the modesty of a guy" can not be given an unambiguous answer. When this quality is manifested to a moderate degree and does not interfere with normal life activity, it is positive. And if it is too much, then it can be attributed to negative qualities.
Women's modesty
With a weak sex, everything is much simpler, they are forgiven and even encouraged by their shyness, weakness and non-porousness. We grew up in classical works, in which the gentleness and shyness of the girls were sung. For a long time, the modesty of a woman testified to her inner dignity and restraint, and arrogance and insolence are signs of ill-bredness. But even for girls, modesty can cause some inconvenience, cause stress and depression. In this case, it is necessary to fight with excessive modesty.
The reasons for excessive modesty
Psychologists believe that excessive modesty can arise due to the following reasons:
genetics. Scientists speak of the existence of a shyness gene. It appears from birth in people with an unstable nervous system. upbringing. Incorrect upbringing and lack of communication skills fetter a person and make him unnecessarily shy. psychological childhood trauma. As a result of the shock experienced in early childhood, many character traits suffer, and modesty is no exception.How to get rid of modesty?
There are two ways to combat excessive modesty. The first involves training the character, special exercises and trainings. The second way is to contact specialists.
For self-therapy, the following recommendations can be applied:
- Train the character. When you want to say something or do it, do it, even if what you say is stupid, which of us has not committed stupid acts.
- Communicate more often with associates. Do not give up the opportunity to meet with classmates, friends and colleagues. Remember, in childhood your natural modesty did not interfere with communication with peers.
- Do not torture yourself with reproaches after an unsuccessful speech or action. On the contrary, note what you managed and think that you can
to correct from what was not possible. - Use the "casual acquaintance" exercise. To do this, go to any crowded place and try to get to know and communicate with other people to you.
If these methods do not help, you need to seek help from a psychologist. He will carry out the necessary diagnostic measures and, if necessary, come up with an action plan and explain how to overcome modesty.
Fight with your modesty, only if it is superfluous. If she is moderate, enjoy and be proud of this feeling and do not forget the golden words: "modesty adorns the girl".