In difficult conditions, when a person does not see a way out of any situation and turns to a psychotherapist for help, an experienced specialist can help understand the causes of such a state by digging up to the very essence that lies deep in the mind. But do not shift all responsibility to the doctor. After all, he is only a guide through the dark corners of the soul, and a person intuitively directed in the right direction must himself cope with the situation.
Children's grievances against parents
It's good when both parents take a direct part in the child's upbringing . But more often there is a situation when the father is present only formally - brings money to the house and therefore has every right to do his favorite occupation in his spare time. Such a person, becoming a father, practically does not change his conception of the family's way of life and believes that the child and everything connected with it is the destiny of the mother, he must provide the family financially.
And children experience a psychological need for father's participation in their lives. And it does not matter whether the boy is a girl. Lacking the love and attention of the father regularly, the child eventually gets used to this situation and, being already an adult, simply ignores his father. After all, in all important moments for the child, he was not there. Father did not share the joy of success and the pain of defeats with his baby. Becoming an adult, a man on the same model will build and his family - a man becomes an earner, and a woman resignedly bears her cross of a married single mother.
But more often, remembering their childish grievances, the mother comes to mind. After all, it is physically and spiritually connected with the child from the moment of conception to the end of life. No matter how hard the mother tries to be good for her child, it can not be perfect. And children tend to take offense at something that an adult does not find serious.
You do not need to be perfect - to have a higher education and extensive knowledge in all areas, not to have bad habits and to always be at the height in the eyes of others. You just need to be yourself - a mother who has mistakes, which, like any other person, can be in a bad mood and yell at the child. But you need to acknowledge all your mistakes, not only before yourself, but also before the child, and, without delaying, without hoarding offenses for years.
Whatever the parents are guilty of before the child, the children's offense against the parents will always take place, to a greater or lesser extent. It all depends on the situation and the baby. The child's psyche is multifaceted and where one child will forget the offense within a day, the other will nurture it in the soul (consciously or not), all life.
In order not to become a source of all ills for a child, which he will incur into adulthood, one must admit to himself that parents also have the right to make mistakes. In a calm environment after the conflict, the child should explain the reasons for his behavior and sincerely ask for forgiveness from him. The child should feel that, despite all his misdeeds, he is loved and should not be ashamed to talk about it out loud.
How to forget children's insults?
Letting go of your grievances is not so easy, especially if contact with parents was not found in adulthood. It's worth putting yourself in the place of a mother or father and trying to understand their behavior. The most reasonable step will be a dialogue between parents and an adult child. It is necessary to voice all their experiences and grievances, even if the parents do not want it, and also ask for forgiveness. Over time, relations will improve, if not reject the conflict, and try to understand it all together. By educating their children, it is always worthwhile to put themselves in the place of the child and most to try to experience the conflict situation from the height of his age.