Sometimes you may be surprised at your own perception of the interlocutor. It seems that nothing is frankly bad in him, but you feel irritation (from a voice, a smell) and you hurry to get rid of the painful society for you. The feeling you are experiencing is called antipathy in psychology, and we will speak about it today.
Sympathy and antipathy in the psychology of communication
It is not difficult to guess that, unlike sympathy, antipathy means an emotional feeling of hostility and even rejection, which prevents us from objectively perceiving the information received from a person, interacting with the interlocutor and, consequently, achieving some positive results. One of the most vivid and familiar examples of antipathy and sympathy for many met in school. Often, dislike of the teacher makes us unresponsive to the information we receive. Just as antipathy or, on the contrary, a feeling of sympathy, affects the objectivity of the teacher's assessments and his requirements for the progress of certain students.
Let's look at the main signs of sympathy and antipathy in communication.
Visual signs of sympathy:
- comfortable communication in the so-called intimate zone (from 45 cm and closer);
- Open palms, lack of "locks" from the hands and feet;
- active "mirror gesticulation";
- straight look, smile;
- unconscious or conscious coquetry .
The visual signs of antipathy, naturally, are directly opposite:
- instinctive observance of large distances between interlocutors;
- crossed arms or legs, linked fingers of hands;
- no copying of the interlocutor's gestures;
- if you smoke, then a jet of smoke will surely be sent down from the face of an uncomfortable interlocutor;
- A look from under his brows, gloomy brows, a compressed mouth;
- tension in the muscles, a feeling of internal discomfort.
Causes of antipathy
Hostility partner can arise for various reasons. Sometimes they can be understood (conscious antipathy), and sometimes you have to dig into yourself to understand why a certain person evokes a feeling of rejection in you (unconscious antipathy).
For example, antipathy can be the result of certain actions of a person, because of divergence in political views or because of worldview discrepancies. Sometimes we are annoyed by the appearance, habits and behaviors of other people. In addition, the brain likes to draw parallels. If you meet a person using a perfume with which you have bad memories connected, then most likely an unconscious feeling of discomfort will lead to antipathy. Similarly, we respond to the timbre of the voice or, for example, the habits of new acquaintances - unconsciously requesting parallels in the archives of memory. Such antipathy in psychology is called associative.
Of course, at the same time a person's assessment can be too subjective and deceptive. Negative emotions can very restrict the lives of people who are impressionable and hypochondriac, and therefore sometimes it is possible and necessary to fight with antipathy.
How to deal with antipathy?
- try to analyze competently, what exactly pushes you away in a person. Define the form of your antipathy, find her a logical explanation. Sometimes it is so ridiculous that the associative chain is broken automatically;
- analyze the person, find in it positive features;
- one way to overcome dislike, paradoxically as it sounds, is to take care of a person. We appreciate what we invest in;
- people believers can be advised to mention an unpleasant person in prayer, asking God to free the heart from negative emotions.
On the other hand, you should understand that antipathy is a completely healthy feeling that is typical of almost all people. If it does not bother you (for example, you see an unpleasant object very rarely), then do not blame yourself for negative emotions. Concentrate on pleasant moments and surround yourself with those people whose fellowship brings you joy!