Attraction

Attraction in psychology is a concept that determines the attraction of one person to another, the location to it. In simple words, this is the sympathy that arises between people. Despite the fact that it seems that this feeling arises independently, there are certain laws of attraction, which have long been used by experts from the field of sales, advertising, psychology and many others. The concept of attraction is no longer considered a narrow psychological term - it is used almost everywhere.

Psychological methods of attraction formation

In order to cause a good disposition of a person, it is enough to simply use the techniques of attraction. Those who are familiar with Dale Carnegie's book How to Win Friends and Influence People will probably see many familiar tricks. Consider these:

  1. "Proper name". No sound in the world sounds for a person as pleasant as his name, so more often call the name of the person by name. Whether it's a customer or a company employee, or even someone from your neighbors - everyone will be pleased if you say hello and refer to them by name.
  2. "Distance". There is a distance to which we can let people in - close people can almost stand back, but if a new friend behaves similarly, it will cause resentment. It is important to understand these boundaries, to feel them and not to cross the facet of the intimate zone.
  3. "Spatial arrangement". Psychologists say that it is best to be on the side of each other, if you are on the same level - this will remove unnecessary aggression. But the boss and subordinate are usually opposite each other.
  4. "The mirror of one's heart". Be friendly, smile, open, look into your eyes, but without tension.
  5. "Gold words". Do compliments to the companion, support his choice, agree with his decisions.
  6. "Patient listener." If your interlocutor needs to speak out, let him do it, just nodding and looking at him so that he understands that you perfectly understand him.
  7. "Gestures". There are whole books that teach you to read gestures and facial expressions correctly, share all these non-verbal cues to positive and negative ones, and teach how to quietly copy good signals, thereby provoking sympathy. At the initial level, it's enough just to copy the gestures, but imperceptibly.
  8. "Personal life". Be interested in a person's life, remember each word and in subsequent meetings, be interested in how his nephew's affairs are or whether his dog has recovered. This attentive attitude can not but cause disposition.

Such simple attraction mechanisms will allow you not only to establish good relations with the team, clients, the boss, but also with the people with whom you want to make friends.

Types of attraction

The levels of attraction are different, from very shallow to deep. Let's consider some initial:

  1. Sympathy. This attraction occurs at the beginning of communication and forms physical attractiveness, social characteristics, symbols of social status, and other things. This is an emotional reaction to the "mask" that a person wears.
  2. Love. This feeling has a sexual underpinning, is associated with excitement, but passes quite quickly (up to 2 years). This is mistaken for love at first sight. This is basically a reaction to role behavior, coincidence of personality with some ideal. During this period a person looks the best, after which disappointment often follows, i.e. Love is a feeling for one's ideal, not a real person.
  3. Attachment. It arises on the basis of joint activity, which increases attraction in the eyes of each other.

These are the most superficial levels, but on deeper levels one can also consider feelings such as love and dependence on a person.