Even if you have experienced something like that many years ago, this does not mean that the problem of once unrequited love can again painfully remind you of yourself. It may take a while, and you will even have time to get a family and children. But she suddenly will come again. Unrequited love has its own psychology, and to get rid of it, more precisely, from those sensations, is not so simple as it seems. Let's see why.
Love and hunger
Any feeling, periodically replacing some other, takes the dominant position in our "head". The principle of the dominant is based on its mandatory withdrawal, completeness. So, for example, the feeling of hunger compels a person to constantly think about what he wants to eat. Until this need is satisfied, the person will want to eat, he will constantly think about food. In this situation, there are two options for the exit (completion) of the dominant. For example, you were informed that you were fired. You are distressed, defeated and completely at a loss from such news. It is clear that you will stop thinking about food. One dominant simply replaced the other. This is the external exit of the dominant. The internal output of the dominant is its satisfaction. In the case of hunger, the inner completion of this dominant will be that the person will eat and be satisfied.
Love, as a dominant, also requires withdrawal and requires completion. Therefore, the problem of how to experience unrequited love becomes more clear to us. Unshared love because of its inseparability (sorry for the pun) can not have an internal end. A man or woman responded to a feeling of failure. Not having received an answer to their feelings, a person can not get satisfaction of his dominant.
The outer end of the love dominant is the salvation of the situation and, in a way, a curative medicine for the unfortunate lover. External output is associated with a change in the object of love, that is, a woman (a man) falls in love with another man (another woman). But, as it was said at the very beginning, meeting with the object of unrequited love will always cause pain caused by the sensations of that unrequited love. A person does not suffer by someone who does not want to share feelings with him. He suffers for those memories, for his feelings, he mourns for them. But nothing more.
Let's release memories
What to do and how to cope with unrequited love, which often reminds of itself - a question that interests many. Unshared love means that feelings have not found an inner outlet, reciprocity and contentment. The outer completeness of unrequited love, alas, is not so effective.
From a non-reciprocal feeling will help get rid of time. As they say, everything passes, and this too will pass. Common sense will help us to speed up this process.
So, if this is possible, then you need to meet again with the object of unrequited love once. This is necessary in order to look at a person "in a new way." Only here there is one condition - from the moment of a love failure, at least a year must pass, otherwise, you will not see anything new and will only give reinforcement to your sufferings.
Having looked at the one to whom you had an unrequited feeling, having communicated with this person, you, most likely, will ask a question: "And what did I find in it? ..". The fact is that when love captures us, we endow the object of love with qualities that we would like to see in it. We idealize the person. Well, when we meet, we finally open our eyes. Remember, you experience feelings not to the person himself, but to memories of him, to memories of feelings (attraction, euphoria, fantasy, suffering). All people, whatever one may say, sometimes like to suffer and regret themselves. Probably, it is just necessary for us to feel the contrast between happiness and despair.
I want to summarize all of the above with the next phrase about unrequited love: "Not being loved is just a failure, not loving - that's misfortune." Draw conclusions.