The battered topic of women's conversations, the problem that was, is and will be relevant as long as we exist. Meet, Mistress Jealousy and her loyal subjects - anxiety, despair and nervous breakdown.
Why are we jealous and is it possible to get rid of disastrous and sometimes even pointless jealousy, in order to protect ourselves and our health - this we have to understand.
Love, selfishness or insecurity? ..
Do not rush to get rid of this painful and painful feeling. Before you stop jealous of someone, you need to understand the causes of jealousy. The very feeling of jealousy is the end result of the action of certain stimuli. We will fight with the latter.
The enemy needs to be known in person, after which it will be easier to determine the option of "fighting".
- We are jealous when we love. And is not it like the ravings of a madman? Where is the connection between "love" and "jealous"? Such an argument appears here, most likely, as an excuse and some cover for the true causes of jealousy. Love is primarily a desire to take care of another person, to be involved in his life. Love does not breed jealousy. You can meet a man who genuinely loves, but who is completely alien to the feeling of jealousy.
- Selfishness and jealousy. It's interesting, but is there anything in common between these concepts? Jealousy is the conviction of a person in a real or imaginary manifestation of attention to another person. When it seems to us that the sweet-beloved shows interest in someone, we are jealous the sharper, the more it hurts us. It may really seem to us, you will think, the imagination was played out, but we are not trying to figure it out. In this case, for us, it is important not so much the validity of our jealousy, its adequacy, as the threat of its attempt on "our property". So to say, my do not touch, its not giving. Selfishness in lean oil. Of course, we are all selfish from nature, we all want the best for ourselves. However, in some, the degree of selfishness is simply "off scale", which makes life very difficult.
- Insecurity and jealousy - that's already interesting. Nothing can be helped, if we are jealous, then we are afraid. And we are afraid, as a rule, of uncertainty, and more often in ourselves. Insufficiently clever, beautiful, good, and suddenly there is someone better than me - in such conclusions our insecurity in oneself with which we must fight is manifested. Appreciate yourself with a look from the outside, try to give yourself an objective assessment. If it's not a low self-esteem (in this case, reading special literature, psychological trainings, etc.), and if there are really serious shortcomings, start working on yourself. As they say, there is no limit to perfection. Create yourself - your appearance and your inner world. "Color" yourself with new, bright colors, become more interesting for yourself, develop. Then you will become more confident in yourself, more interesting for a beloved man and the question of how to stop jealous of a beloved man will very soon seem ridiculous and ridiculous to you. Who will now give up such a chic woman? ..
Private solutions for frequent cases
How to stop jealous when, like, there is an excuse - we will consider the most common situations.
- How to stop jealous of the past. The experience of previous relationships is priceless. We need to respect people, be grateful for what they taught us, do not be ashamed of their mistakes. But what to do when the past does not let go of someone we love? If your lover communicates with his ex-girlfriend, when in principle they do not bind anything, then be on the alert. First, probably one of them (either your boyfriend or his ex-boyfriend) still harbors hopes for their joint bright future. Secondly, in order to find the present, you need to let go of the past, and since these two will not let him go, you will be jealous until old age. Yes, as if alone I was not jealous ...
Another situation is when your loved one has already been married (or not even been) and with the former passion they are connected by the upbringing of his, or rather, their child. In a similar situation, you will have a hard time. Everything will depend on the adequacy of the former wife, on her well-established personal life, on the relationship between the former spouses and on your relationship with the lover's child. The chain of relations is rather difficult. It is important to properly build, evaluate and understand it. And most importantly, it is important to accept the circumstances and reconcile with them. If you love and love you - is it worth worrying about?
- How to stop jealous of a friend. If a girl is jealous of her friend, then it's time to admit that this same friend has long ceased to be a "friend." There is a high probability that you do not have friendly feelings toward him, but love feelings. Perhaps these feelings are reciprocal, in which case we must take the "bull by the horns!" Only with one condition that this is not a protest of your self-esteem and selfishness, but a true and genuine feeling of love. With your own selfishness, sort out yourselves and do not interfere with your friend.
- How to stop jealous of the former guy. Answer one question - do you still love? If you like, then talk to your ex. Who knows, maybe you both made a mistake when you broke up and now you both suffer. Probably, all at you still will turn out. If your ex is happy with another, and you are tormented by jealousy - you need to let the man go. At last, take up your personal life, enough to look back. What was - that was, each of you has the right to happiness, even with another person.
- How to stop jealous after betrayal. Treason is a perfect occasion for jealousy. But do not entertain yourself with the illusion that you can forget it. Forgive - perhaps, but do not forget. For this reason, jealousy will always be your faithful companion. Or as long as the relationship with the one who has changed you,
will not end. Above the last - think, maybe you should finish it all the same? Is this person worthy of your tears, nerves and undermined health?
The question of treason is a separate issue, in which we need to understand, and, I hope, we will succeed. As for jealousy, here you choose yourself - either to keep yourself under control, to fight and "treat" this, a kind of disease, or just around the corner a prenuptious diagnosis of a doctor - a neurosis.
So take care of your nerves.